Films, Fangs & Flappy Ears
by Fyrie
Summary: From a challenge - Buffy & Clem hug like they're best buds (apparently - I haven't seen new seasons) and I was give the challenge of providing a reason for this. I'm sorry. Lynch me now. Get the images out of my head.


TITLE: Films, Fangs and Flappy Ears

AUTHOR: Fyre

RATING: R

DISCLAIMER: If this were mine, I honestly would never have considered putting these two together. Joss owns all, except the words from certain songs.

SPOILERS: It's set just post S6, but I'd say it spoilers up to the latest episodes, even tho I still haven't seen them or any of S7 or the last 10 episodes of S6 (I don't know if Buffy knows Spike is gone, but if she does, tough tits. She doesn't in my world). 

Also, it could technically spoilers any of the last two seasons of Angel, which I also haven't seen due to buggered up scheduling on Channel 4's part, meaning that S2 has JUST finished being shown recently. Grr. So, I know Angel was sunk at the end of S3 and I'm NOT using that cos it messes with my nice, tidy story (If anything has happened to Lorne's club that I don't know about, screw that! I'm keeping it there - I love Caritas! I want Caritas! Caritas still exists in my world!)

NOTES: This is a combination of things: The Improv words (shine, gleam, glow, sparkle) since I've written sod all for the improv in many moons and it was also challenge #289 on YGTS?, the place that has been my Buffy-fic-based home for the last two years. I was required to explain the Clem/Buffy hug in an episode in S7. 

In a...passionate fashion. 

Everyone *knows* I despise Buffy. 

Even more than that, I utterly hate writing Buffy romance (Writing a Buffy Summers/ Harry Potter romance had me on the verge of being physically sick. And people like it. People are really screwed up). 

Obviously, this came from an evil personal challenge, not done by choice at ALL. Of course, I couldn't refuse, though. People challenge me to write things they class as impossible. I write them. That's the way it goes. I don't back down until I have proved I can write anything (see an NC17 Dru/Miss Edith combo I did for details).

Yes, I'm a sick, weird individual. Thank you for noticing :)

DEDICATIONS: Kudos to Fabrisse for this challenge. You came up with a pair I never even came close to imagining. You are a sick, sick individual! Hope this is good enough for you :) 

Oh and the Host...he just slipped in there when I wasn't looking.

_______________________________

Night had fallen and Sunnydale was silent.

Silent, but for the occasional rustle of creatures of darkness lurking in the shadows, partaking in the evilness they were known for, devouring the flesh and souls of the innocent and… well, on the odd occasion, munching on a takeaway bucket of very evil chicken wings from the nearest KFC.

That was the scenario that confront Buffy Summers when she entered the crypt that, up until recently, had housed William the Bloody, also known as Spike.

"I hate my life," She decided, shaking her head. Part of her had hoped that she would be able to come down the crypt and find a simple and dusty piece of closure on the whole Spike scenario. That didn't look like it was going to be the case.

The loose-skinned demon sitting in the large, squashy chair, illuminated by the glow from the television set, was probably as far from Spike in looks, nature and...eating habits as was huma...demonly possible.

Clem looked up from the bucket of wings he was eating, licking grease from the folds between his fingers and hastily hitting the volume control on the remote. "Hey Buffy!" He grinned up at her. "Surely things can't be all that bad."

Buffy Summers, saviour of the world, Vampire Slayer, big sister, current matriarch of the Summers family stepped alongside the chair that the demon was sitting in, her arms folded over her chest. "Wanna bet?"

The pasty-skinned demon, one of the few that didn't try to kill her on a regular basis, cocked his head, his flapping ears lifting slightly. Holding out the bucket to her, he offered. "Wanna wing?"

Smiling weakly, Buffy shook her head. "You mind if I…could I hang out here for a while, Clem?"

Scooting up in the broad seat, Clem patted the arm. "Sure! Not got much room but it's kinda nice to have some company if you know what I mean…been kinda quiet hereabouts since I moved in."

Sitting carefully on the edge of the arm, Buffy looked down at the demon. "You don't mind?"

"Nope! Not at all!" He held up the bucket again. "You sure you don't wanna try a wing?" he cajoled, giving the tub a shake. "Real juicy and good and you know I'm not gonna be all over you for eating with your fingers."

"I shouldn't…"

Red eyes gleamed up at her. "You know you want to."

Shaking her head and laughing, Buffy reluctantly accepted one of the steaming chicken wings. "You're a bad influence on me, Clem…" she said with a weary smile.

He tilted his head. "You don't do that often, do you?"

"What?"

"Smile," he answered honestly. "Looks like you haven't done it for a while."

The half-smile saddened slightly. "Haven't had much to smile about," she replied, toying with the chicken wing, a shadow passing over her hazel eyes. "You know…the whole Xander-Anya break-up was pretty hard, then Tara dying, and Willow with the dark magic thing…and hey! You're looking at Resurrection girl! It hasn't exactly been an easy…or good year…"

"I'll say!" Clem exclaimed, as the Slayer nibbled on the edge of the wing, her other hand below the piece of fried chicken to catch any dripping grease. "I thought running out of kittens at Thanksgiving was bad!"

Buffy pulled a face. "So didn't need to be reminded of that, thanks."

The demon grinned at her. "Am I putting you off?"

"Are you trying to?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows and biting into the wing defiantly. Unfortunately, that had the joint effect of squirting grease all over her chin and halfway up her cheeks and making Clem laugh aloud. 

Her free hand swiped under her chin as she hastily chewed and swallowed the bit of chicken, wiping her face as best she could, then realising - with chagrin - that she had nowhere else to wipe the grease.

"Do..." She looked from her hand to Clem. "Do you have a napkin...or something I could wipe my hand on...?"

The demon looked around, then shrugged helplessly. "Only me," he replied. "I'm not one for kleenex or anything..." He held out a hand for hers and wiped off the grease before she could protest. "I know it's not much help, but at least you got some of your hand back, huh?"

Buffy pulled a face. "I'd say you set this up, so I would get all greasy and you could fondle my hand."

"All that tight skin?" Clem pulled a face. Or at least, the flaps of his cheeks shifted into a different expression. "C'mon, Buffy! You know I only go for the saggy kind of demons, girl! I'm not a human-type of guy!"

"So you say," she grinned at him, sliding down into the little space on the seat beside him and taking another bite out of the chicken wing. Nodding towards the television, she asked, with her mouth full. "What are we watching?"

"You aren't on the hunt tonight?"

She shook her head. "Done it. Staked half a dozen fledglings, took out a couple of creepy big guys with nasty swords over by the Debrant crypt on the east side and I'm in the mood for TV."

"What about Dawnie?"

"Staying with dad for the week."

"And your other buddies won't be worried?"

"Clem, if you want me to go, just say it!"

The demon shook his head, his ears slapping against his cheeks. "No! Not at all!" he exclaimed. "It's just...I dunno...I guess I figured you'd wanna spend time with your friends and family instead of a saggy demon like me."

"Friends who are out of town or a saggy demon with chicken wings and a TV... hmm..." She gave him a small smile. "I think I'll hang around here for a while and bug you some more, since neither of us has anyone else to keep us company."

"Sounds good to me and hey!" Reaching down the side of the chair, he lifted up a small cellphone and pile of flyers. "If we get hungry, I know a great little Chinese that does delivery to everywhere in Sunnydale, even a crypt, no questions asked!"

"You eat Chinese food?" Buffy gave him a sceptical look.

"What?" Clem demanded in a injured tone, his brows rising questioningly. "Just because I have kitten instead of turkey for Thanksgiving, you don't think I can eat enjoy a nice Chinese meal?"

"Again with the kitten thing..." Buffy winced. "Can you just...not mention that again?"

"Really squicks ya, huh?"

"Just a little."

Clem grinned goofily at her. "All righty," he answered amiably. "How about this? We watch TV, maybe get a delivery later on, if you wanna stick around, and then you can head home when you're bored of me."

"Like I could get bored with you, Clem."

"Happened before and could again," he replied with a shrug. "Just so you know."

"Lemme guess," she remarked, reaching into the bucket of wings and withdrawing another one. "You mentioned that you liked to eat kittens one too many times?"

"Actually, no," he replied, grinning. "They got bored when I did a Monty Python Marathon with my video collection. I got this TV just in time for the latest one." He nodded towards the screen, where a man in a dress was painting in Latin all over what looked like a temple. "Have to love Monty Python."

"This is Life of Brian, right?"

Clem looked at he in surprise. "You know it?"

"Know it? Monty Python is great! Especially the Holy Grail one..."

"Omigod! That's on straight after this! You have to stay and watch it with me! I don't know anyone else who likes it!"

"Seriously?!"

"Yuh-huh!"

Buffy chewed on her lower lip, then glanced at her watch. "I don't know, Clem...I do have the whole sacred duty thing..." The demon turned to her, pouting. "I shouldn't stay too long..."

"But you deserve a night off...put your feet up and watch a movie and let me treat you to a Chinese meal!"

"Why?"

"Because you like Monty Python," Clem replied, a sparkle in his scarlet eyes. "I don't find many people with the same taste as me...especially not when it comes to TV and movies. Most demons are geeks about Star Wars and things like that... some of them can't stop boasting about their family members being extras in the old movies..."

"So you want me to hang around and you'll buy me food, just because I like Monty Python?"

"Sure!"

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure you're a real demon, Clem?" she asked, a smile crossing her lips. "You don't act like any that I've ever met. You're way too nice to me for one thing..."

Clem's ears folded back in embarrassment and he ducked his head over the chicken bucket. "Gee, I don't know about being nice, Buffy," he said bashfully. "I just figured hey! We're both lonely and we both like Monty Python, so why not watch it together? It's always fun to watch it with someone else who likes it."

"And Chinese food too," she said with a broad grin. "I guess my day just got a whole lot better, thank to you."

Clem shook his head with a laugh. "Never thought I'd hear the day a Slayer said that to me," he remarked. "Gotta love life on a Hellmouth."

***

"Hey! Quit hogging the popcorn!"

"Get your own!"

Clem turned his demonic lost-puppy look on her, his flapping ears quirking upwards in an utterly forlorn expression. "That _was_ my own!"

The Slayer grinned at him. "Oops?" she said, her eyes dancing.

Sitting on the comfortable couch in the living room in the Summers house, early moonlight cutting across the floor in swathes, the girl and the demon were doing their fourth video-marathon in two weeks.

So far, they had done a James Bond marathon, a Tom Hanks marathon, a Disney marathon and now, they were on a Star Wars marathon, since Clem had made the choice of marathon for the evening.

Only a few days earlier, Dawn had been very amused when she came home from their father's and found Buffy and Clem bickering over what they were going to order for dinner, when she had walked in the front door.

Unfortunately, Hank Summers had actually come into the house to see Buffy and Clem had been quickly dived behind the couch, taking the telephone and takeaway menus with him.

It had been with no small measure of annoyance that Buffy had found out that the demon had taken advantage of being hidden behind the couch with the phone, when a huge quantity of Thai food was delivered half an hour later.

She had eaten her share of it anyway, while the three of them had watched 'Big', after Hank Summers had left. She hadn't, however, admitted that she had actually enjoyed the meal, grumbling her way through it.

Sitting cross-legged on the couch, the massive bowl of butter-coated popcorn in her lap, Buffy directed the remote at the VCR, fast-forwarding the tape through the trailers, while defending the popcorn from Clem's fingers.

"C'mon, girl! Just a little!"

"Your version of 'a little' is very different to mine, Clem!"

The demon sniffed. "But it's mine!"

"And it was very generous of you to gimme it," Buffy said with mock-sincerity, then grinned and took her hand away from the bowl. "Well, I guess I can cope with sharing it with you."

"You're just so wonderful," Clem muttered in a sulky tone, pouting at her, as he grabbed a handful of the corn and ate it quickly. The Slayer smirked at him, hitting play as the opening sequence of the film started.

As the bright yellow words started scrolling up the screen, she leaned a little closer to the demon and muttered, "Next time I get to choose what the marathon is. I hate space kinds of films."

"Just wait," Clem replied, nodding towards the screen. "I heard they had the all time best movie bad guy in this."

"Uh huh..."

"This coming from the girl who wanted to watch Dracula, huh?"

"Hey! I just wanna see if the movies do the guy justice!"

"Met him?"

Buffy nodded, munching on a handful of popcorn. "Staked him twice."

"Twice?"

"Hey, he's Dracula! Have to give the guy credit for being difficult to kill."

"And the whole sexy Dracula vibe had nothing to do with it, huh?" Clem gave her a knowing look, his short fangs gleaming in the soft light from the television. Buffy made no reply, blushing. "Figured as much."

"He's Dracula!" Buffy exclaimed, trying to look indignant. Clem's impish grin was infectious though. "I mean, yeah! Of course he had the sexy vibe going for him, but it was crazy to actually meet the guy! He's, like, the most famous vampire in the world and he knew who I was! It's not like he was _that _sexy!"

"Uh...huh..." Scepticism dripped off the two syllables.

Buffy swatted him, laughing. "Stop that!"

"Only if you gimme more of _my_ popcorn."

Rolling her eyes with a groan, she shook her head. "Okay already!" she exclaimed, pushing the bowl back at him, receiving a grin from the demon for it. "Why do I put up with you, Clem? I don't get it."

"Same reason I put up with you, I guess," he replied, tossing a piece of popcorn at her. She batted it away with an indignant squeal. "We're on the same wavelength, even if I'm way more normal than you, while you prefer the undead."

"Hey! That was bad luck! And you...normal? When did this happen?" The demon attempted to look hurt. "You thought Snow White was pretty and you were crying when Ursula exploded!"

"Um...error of judgement?"

"I'll say!" Settling against his side, she snatched a handful of popcorn. Glancing up, she added. "I'd say it's cos I don't have any movie buddies who like the same things that I do."

"Wanna stick with that excuse?" he inquired.

"Hey, it works," She grinned back at him. "So...the big pointy space ship is the bad guy's ship, right?"

"Right. A Super Star Destroyer."

"You're a geek, aren't you?"

"Um...well, I guess...kinda..."

Buffy patted his arm, the folds of skin soft against her hand. "Don't worry," she said reassuringly. "I won't breathe a word about your terrible secret."

"I'd hate to have to kill you, Buffy," Clem agreed, a look of mock seriousness on his face. "Who would I order weird foods for if I killed you? And movies! Omigod! Who would I watch movies with?"

"So that's your only reason for not being the demon to kill the Slayer?" Leaning her head on his shoulder, she gave him a smile. "Gotta say if I knew it was so easy to get demons onside, I would have started demon movie marathons before now."

"You're trying to make me jealous, right?"

"Is it working?"

Clem considered it. "Actually, yeah. Wouldn't want anyone else but Dawnie to cut in on my movie time. It's not a good thing to go to movies with other demons...they can't sit still long enough. You can actually sit still and talk about the movie after. It's kinda nice."

"I'm flattered."

"And eating all the popcorn," Clem groused.

Buffy grinned up at him. "You love it, really. Rather me than a Fyarl demon, right?"

"Oh yeah..." Clem shuddered. "Nasty guys! I'd take a Slayer over one of them any day. And mucus...really not a good coating for popcorn...a bit too salty for my taste."

Buffy dropped the handful of popcorn she had, a nauseous look crossing her face. "I so didn't need to hear that," she said, to which Clem grinned and hauled the bowl out of her reach. "You're a gross jerk!"

"Yep! And you know, I'm the gross jerk with the popcorn now!"

***

"You better shape up, cause I need a man!" Buffy tapped Clem firmly in the centre of his chest, then strutted back across the stage, grinning widely. "And my heart is set on you! You better shape, you better understand, that to my heart I must be true..."

Clem looked like he was torn between falling over in a hysterical bout of laughter or stuffing a hand in his mouth to stop himself laughing out loud. Buffy was in a similar state, as she sang, her words wavering with giggles.

Joining in with his lines, both of them were on the verge of breaking down and falling against one another laughing. "You're the one that I want, you are the one I want, Ooh, ooh, ooh! Honey!"

Had anyone told the Slayer exactly what she would be doing during the last week of vacation, she would definitely not have believed it.

With Dawn gone to stay with their father for another few days at the tail end of the summer vacation, Buffy and Clem had decided to take a road trip to one of Clem's favourite bars, which happened to be a couple of hours away in Los Angeles.

What he hadn't mentioned was that it was a karaoke bar.

A demon karaoke bar.

After giving a promise that she would take a night off from her 'sworn duty', she had been granted entry by a massive demon, who had asked if he could possibly have her autograph, because he had never had the chance to meet a Slayer before.

Blushing furiously, ignoring Clem sniggering beside her, she had politely granted him the request and then turned to yell at Clem for giggling in her ear. He, though, had grabbed her by the arm.

He had taken her in, greeting a few old acquaintances here and there, then promptly lead her towards the stage and asked if she would do a duet with him, just for the fun of it, expecting her to squeak with indignation and flee.

Poor Clem had been more than mortified when she had called his bluff and grabbed one of the song lists.

Having had a musical movie marathon together only the previous week, Buffy had grinned wickedly at him when she found one of the most famous duets from 'Grease' and announced that they would sing that.

Perhaps, he had thought, as they had started singing, it was just fortunate that neither of them could sing well. It would have been utter humiliation if one of them had a spectacular voice.

At least this way, they were on the same level.

And they were having a riot!

Buffy was cheerfully hamming up the flirty routine Olivia Newton John had made famous, while he was just concentrating on actually keeping track on the words and not doubling over laughing.

He had never been more grateful for anything than when the song came to an end and he and Buffy, laughing uproariously, stumbled down from the stage to amused applause of the various demons there.

"C'mon," he insisted, leaning her towards a table, where a demon was sitting. The green-skinned creature was beckoning, crooking a finger in their direction, so they made their way over. "Hey! Lorne! Nice to see you again!"

The green demon got to his feet, allowing Buffy to see his gleaming sky-blue suit that looked as if it had been made for him. "Clem! Omigod! It's great to see you! You didn't tell me you were heading back to good old LA!" He held out a hand, which Clem shook immediately. "And that vibrato thing you got going...not bad at all!"

"That wasn't vibrato, Lorne, that was a giggle attack," Clem grinned weakly, sitting down on the opposite side of the table, Buffy sitting down beside him and studying the demon opposite them.

"Whatever it was, it was..." Shining red eyes that had moved from Clem to Buffy widened as soon as they fell on the blonde, his words drying up in his throat as he stared at her in astonishment. "Omigod...you...they said...omigod..."

"Huh?"

"You...the Slayer...holy moley..." The demon looked like he was in the presence of one of his idols, reaching over and grasping one of her hands between his. "Sweetie, I have heard so much about you it's crazy! And now, here you are! In LA! Singing in my humble club!"

"You've heard of me?"

"Heard of you? Honey, you're the talk of the town! I know your old brooding hunk of vampy love."

"A-Angel?"

"Tall, dark, gloomy, over-gelled hair and overhanging brow?" The Host nodded with a half-smile, swirling the drink he had in a cocktail glass. "You betcha, sweetie! He used to visit here from time to time... almost ruined me more than once."

"Is...how is he?"

"Hasn't been about for a while," the Host said apologetically. "He's been keeping himself busy with the whole Connor deal." Buffy opened her mouth to ask what he was talking about, but the demon continued quickly. "But I gotta say it's kinda nice that you've finally found a good buddy, like Clem here. Crazy, but hey! That isn't always a bad thing."

"Now, that's unfair, Lorne," said Clem in an injured tone. "Do I call you crazy?"

"Nope," Lorne retorted, saluting the flap-skinned demon with his drink. His eyes were twinkling with mirth. "You call me the Jolly Green Not-So-Giant."

Buffy looked from one to the other. "Huh?"

"Well, it was just a guess...didn't think I was right..." Clem mumbled, his cheek flaps shifting uncomfortably, a pinkish glow suffusing his pale skin. "And anyway, we were kinda drunk..."

"First and only time and God! I learned my lesson! I'll never ever drink more than ten sea breezes, six vodkas, four whisky shots, three Bacardis and two mugs of brandy again," Lorne agreed with a wince. "And it doesn't help that you're hung like a porn star, Clem...compared to you, I'm kinda okay with the not-so-giant thing." 

Buffy went pink and said nothing.

This was certainly not the conversation she imagined two demons having.

"Lorne," Clem mumbled, straightening the folds of skin on his right arm with his left hand. "You're embarrassing Buffy...we came over for your reading, not to get all... reminiscent about one night way back in 1999."

Lorne chuckled. "Sure, sweetie. You're the one who's embarrassed," he said. "And you, Slayer...you don't mind if I call you Buffy, do you sweetpea? Good...now, you look like you've had a lot to deal with and the whole undead thing...don't worry about it. It'll be a big help soon enough."

"More help than if I was still dead, right?" Buffy offered carefully.

"Well, sure, sweetie," Lorne laughed. "If you were dead, I don't think you'd be able to do half the things you have in store."

"Like...?" she prompted. "Saving the world again?"

Lorne shrugged, smiling. "Among other things, sweetie," he replied. "You're the first slay-gal who has allies on both sides of the fence and since you're not afraid to use your connections, you got a big advantage. Don't forget you can get help just by picking up a phone and calling if you need it."

"Call...who?"

A business card was slid across the table towards her.

"A lobster company?" Clem asked, looking bemused.

"No, you dork," Buffy replied, her eyes on the card. "Angel...you really think he would help?"

"Without question, Princess," Lorne answered sincerely. "He's still got a steady flame burning for you. Never forget that he loved you first."

Picking up the card, Buffy nodded. "I don't think I could forget," she replied, tucking it away in some recess of her pockets and standing up. "Clem, can we...can we go back to the motel now?"

Clem's face twisted in concern. "Sure, Buffy," he replied, getting to his feet. "Lorne, I'm gonna be hanging around here for a while...I'll probably see you around."

"Kay, sweets," Lorne answered amiably, saluting them both with his seabreeze. "I'll be here every night. Take care, Clem...and you, Buffy. And Slayer," She looked back at him wearily. "Don't worry, cupcake, things are just going to get better."

She smiled. "Thanks, Lorne," she replied.

***

"You okay, Buffy?"

Sitting in the middle of her bed, turning over the business card between her fingers, Buffy nodded. "I guess so," she answered with a sigh. "It's just that remembering what I had with Angel...then Riley...and Spike..."

"Riley? Don't recall hearing about him. Another vampire?"

Buffy shook her head. "A regular human," she replied. "Or at least, he seemed regular to begin with. Turns out he was on power-enhancing drugs and was implanted with a chip thing and he ended up going to vampires to see what it was like... why I went with Angel."

"You really haven't had much luck with guys, huh?" Clem sat down on the edge of his bed and regarded her pensively. 

"And what about you, Mister Mysterious?" A faint smile came to Buffy's face as she looked at him. "I don't remember you mentioning anything about a green demon guy by the name of Lorne before."

"We were drunk!" he exclaimed. "It was kinda embarrassing for everyone."

"Everyone?" Buffy sat bolt upright instantly, a startled look on her face. "Everyone meaning there were more people? There were more than two of you? Okay, Clem, buddy! Details!"

"It wasn't anything, seriously! It was...you know...weird..."

"I'll bet!" Buffy laughed. "You and Lorne was bad enough...you, Lorne and others - a demon orgy...my God, Clem! you are a dark horse, aren't you? Demon orgies, drunken binges, horny psychic guys..."

"You make it sound bad," Clem mumbled glumly. "I can't even remember it...and it was the only time I'd ever done anything..." He went vivid pink. "And I really didn't say that, okay? Honestly!"

"Omigod..."

"And you did just hear me say that I didn't say that, right?" he implored.

"But you...you're so sweet!" Buffy exclaimed. "And you're so nice, so friendly and everything! How can you not have a demony girlfriend...or boyfriend...or whatever you wanna have?"

Clem shrugged, his flapping ears sinking down dejectedly. "No real demon wants to have someone who is nice and sweet and everything you just said," he replied. "Most of them want a guy who will smash up a building to show how much they care."

"They can't all be like that!"

The demon shrugged. "That's why I'm gonna stay in LA. for a while," he said, looking down at his hands. "I might have more luck finding someone somewhere with a bigger demon population."

"LA. has a bigger demon population than a Hellmouth?"

"Only the worst kindsa demon usually hang out on the Hellmouth," he explained, looking up from his hands. "It's got all the evil vibes that people like. LA. is more a chill out place for us."

"So there might be people who think the same as you here?"

"Could be," Clem acknowledged, studying his long nails. "I'm pretty sure Lorne could give me directions if I needed it. He's kinda like me that way...he's not one of the fight, smash and kill everything-in-sight demons."

"I'm going to miss having you around, y'know, Clem," Buffy said, leaning over and covering one his hands with hers. "You've been the one person to keep me sane this summer. You're a good buddy."

"Now, if only you were a demon girl saying that to me, everything would be A-OK."

Buffy looked at him for a long moment. "Well..." she said, after a few minutes of deliberation. "I'm not exactly normal."

Red eyes rose to hazel. "You..."

Before Clem could say anything, Buffy took the initiative, leaning in and pressing her mouth to his, staring at him with the same rather shocked expression that he was directing at her.

Sitting back, Buffy cleared her throat. "I-I probably shouldn't have done that, right?"

"Um...probably..." Clem replied hesitantly, before leaning forward, capturing her face between his hands and kissing her.

It wasn't like anything either of them had experienced before, Clem's rumpled skin feeling strangely smooth and velveteen against her fingers as she ran her hands up his arms to his shoulders.

Clothes were dispatched rapidly along the line, somehow being liberally scattered round the room. the demon gawping at Buffy's toned body with a combination of blatant astonishment and fascination.

Clawed fingers ran over her shoulders, down her arms, over her chest. Lingering on her breasts, there was a very brief mention that they should be saggier, which Buffy countered with a comment about giving them twenty years.

As sleek and smooth as her body way, Clem's was the complete opposite and - she found to her amusement - his rippled skin and flapping ears were very sensitive, making him giggle and blush when she stroked them.

Her curiosity about his form matched his about her body, both of them taking their time, examining every inch of one another, providing careful touches and caresses, Clem treating her as if she were made of glass.

One thing she noticed, going scarlet in the face, was that the Host-guy hadn't been exaggerating in what he had said.

"You sure about this, Buffy?"

Buffy smiled. "Why not? I trust you and if you wanna back out..."

His arms slid around her, drawing her against his chest, the thick layers of skin like folds of velvet against her. Their mouths met again and his neat fangs nipped on her lower lip.

One of her small hands moved down the front of his body and she touched the sign of his arousal, her skin flushing from head to toe, as she met scarlet eyes. "I-I guess this means you don't wanna back out, huh?"

In response, he grinned bashfully, his ears perking up, then he kissed her again.

***

Morning sunlight was pouring in the window of the motel onto the very rumpled bed - made of two single beds pushed together - in the middle of the room, which was occupied by two very different individuals. 

Both of them looked mussed, very tired, but also seemed to be struggling to conceal satisfied grins.

Staring at the ceiling, demon and Slayer lay side by side under a sheet.

"Well..." Clem said.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, then paused. "Clem...would you take it personally if..."

"If?"

"If I..." Buffy's words trailed off as she started giggling, sitting up, pulling the sheet up around her. "I-I-I..." Between chuckles, she managed to get the words out. "Do you mind if I laugh?"

His own chuckle mingled with hers. "I was hoping you'd be the one to say that! I mean, omigod! We just had sex! Eight times!"

Buffy started laughing again. "I thought we'd be all...awkward, y'know..."

"Us? Awkward?" Clem made a dismissive gesture with a hand. "We've done it now and it was kinda fun, but hey! I don't see any real long-term commitment coming out of it, huh? Demon...Slayer...never works, right?"

"Definitely," Buffy replied, climbing out of the bed and looking over her shoulder, giving him a genuine smile. "And yeah, it was fun. Never had someone who thinks that half an hour is a short time to have...well...you know..."

Clem gave her an apologetic look. "Normally, it lasts an hour," he said.

Buffy dropped the shirt she had just picked up.

"A-a-an hour?" Hazel eyes rounded in astonishment as Clem's soft ears telegraphed his embarrassment. "Oh my God...I thought eight times in 6 hours was good... whichever demon ends up with you, she's gonna be a lucky girl...or he's gonna be a lucky guy... or both..."

"You mean humans...?"

"Last fifteen minutes at most, usually...and we don't usually get more than once a night, unless we're lucky..." she replied, her cheeks flaming, as she pulled her pants back on.

Clem's burst of laughter startled the Slayer. "Omigod! And here I thought humans must have something special to be so keen on sex...they're just making up for length of time with quantity."

"It can still be good, though."

Clem gave her a smug grin. "But I bet you're gonna have a time finding someone who can last as long as I did, huh?" Buffy reached down and swatted at him, blushing. "What? You know it's true, girl!"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Thank you."

She blinked. "Huh?"

Clem grinned at her. "For giving me a nice little confidence boost, especially when I'm gonna be making a new life up here."

"My pleasure," she replied, smiling. "But you have to promise me one thing, okay, Clem?" His ears quirked up questioningly. "You have to come and visit us back in Sunnydale, okay?"

"Sure!" he exclaimed. "I'd miss our movie marathons!"

Pulling her shirt on and smoothing it down, she looked down at him, where he was sitting in his bed. "It's gonna be kinda quiet back in Sunnydale without you around to keep me company, Clem."

"Yeah," Clem patted the mattress beside him and she sat down. Lifting her hand between his, he gave her a small smile. "Can't think of anyone I could have enjoyed this trip more with."

"Same about you, Clem," Leaning in, they shared a last brief kiss. Buffy drew back and stood up, picking up her jacket from the chair nearby. "I'll say bye to Dawn for you. And," she added, as she made her way towards the door, a small smile creeping onto her lips. "At least you'll remember it this time."

"Hey!" Clem exclaimed indignantly.

"Bye, Clem," Buffy laughed, as she stepped out the door. "Keep safe!"

"And you, sweetie!" Clem called after her, as the door closed, flopping back on the bed and grinning his fangy grin at the ceiling. 

All in all, it had been a good trip. 


End file.
